As teachers and mentors, our role extends far beyond imparting technical skills and musical knowledge. We are entrusted with the task of nurturing talent, fostering creativity, and supporting the emotional well-being of our students. In this article, I want to explore a particular aspect of teaching – the importance of empathy and understanding, and why I never say “Stop it” to my students or others in general.

As a music educator with a background in music theory, historical musicology, and piano performance, I have always been intrigued by the intersection of music and human emotions. My experiences at Woom Talent Center and at the Kreismusikschule Kleve in Germany have taught me that our words and actions as teachers can have a profound impact on our students, especially when they are facing challenges such as extreme anxiety and meltdowns during lessons.

Scientific Evidence Supporting Empathy in Education

Recent research in the field of education psychology has explored the significance of empathy in the teaching process. Studies conducted by Dr. Jane Dutton at the University of Michigan and Dr. Mark Brackett at Yale University have shown that creating an emotionally supportive learning environment leads to improved academic performance and overall well-being among students. These findings reinforce the idea that empathy plays a crucial role in effective teaching.

The Tissue Moment: A Practical Application of Empathy

Let me illustrate this with a real-life example. I had a student who would often experience intense anxiety during our piano lessons, to the point where tears were a regular occurrence. The student was experiencing the same issue in school. Rather than responding with a stern “Stop it,” or “Why are you crying?” I chose a different approach.

One day, as my student was on the verge of tears, I calmly reassured them that it was perfectly okay to be in tears, and they didn’t need to apologize for their emotions. However, I also pointed out a practical matter – I mentioned that I didn’t have an unlimited supply of tissues in my piano studio. I suggested that it might be helpful for them to bring their own extra tissues to lessons. You might have found it as a silly comment, but it was a strategically planned action aimed at shifting the focus from the tears and the anxiety to a practical issue we could solve together: the tissues.

Research on Emotional Expression and Regulation

Research conducted by Dr. Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, emphasizes the importance of allowing individuals to express their emotions rather than suppressing them. She argues that emotional suppression can lead to negative psychological and physiological outcomes. By acknowledging and validating our students’ emotions, as I did in this situation, we are aligning our teaching practices with the principles of emotional well-being.

The Power of Control and Emotional Regulation

Now, here’s where the magic happened. By shifting the focus from the act of crying to the tissue issue, my student’s anxiety began to dissipate. They felt understood, free to be anxious without having to suppress it, and I had indirectly given them permission to feel anxious and upset when needed. What might seem like a minor comment about tissues actually provided my student with a sense of control over the situation, as if to say, “Next time, I’ll remember the tissues!”

At this time, tissues are in the piano bag but are no longer needed.

Research on Control and Stress Reduction

This approach aligns with research on stress reduction and control. Studies in psychology, such as those conducted by Dr. Kelly McGonigal at Stanford University, have shown that a sense of control over a situation can reduce the physiological effects of stress. By giving our students a sense of control over their emotional responses, we are not only supporting their well-being but also enhancing their ability to focus and learn during lessons.

This experience reinforced my belief in the power of empathy and understanding in music education. Instead of suppressing or dismissing emotions, we should acknowledge and validate them. It’s essential to create an environment where students feel safe expressing themselves, even if that means shedding a few tears now and then.

Embracing Empathy in Music Education

As music educators, our responsibility extends beyond teaching notes and rhythms. We have the privilege of guiding and supporting young talents on their musical journeys. By embracing empathy, understanding, and a sensitive approach to emotions, we can create a positive and enriching experience for our students. A simple gesture of understanding can transform anxiety into confidence in our music studios. The evidence from educational psychology and emotional research underscores the profound impact of empathy in teaching and learning, making it a cornerstone of effective music education.

References:

1. Dutton, Jane E., and Ragins, Belle Rose. (2007). “Exploring Positive Relationships at Work: Building a Theoretical and Research Foundation.” Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
2. Brackett, Marc A., and Rivers, Susan E. (2014). “Emotional Intelligence: Implications for Personal, Social, Academic, and Workplace Success.” Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 8(7), 328-342.
3. David, Susan. (2016). “Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.” Avery.
4. McGonigal, Kelly. (2015). “The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It.” Avery.